Random thoughts for the day...a lot of them

While I was purging my email inbox this evening, I rediscovered this gem of a forward from my father. Enjoy.

• I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
• More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.
• Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
• Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
• I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
• The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again..
• Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
• There is a great need for sarcasm font.
• Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
• I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.
• How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
• I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
• I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
• The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.
• Was learning cursive really necessary?
• Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".
• I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
• Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
• My brother's Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads. Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired about the name. He explained, "Cuz we beat you, and you hate us." Classy, bro.
• How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
• I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
• While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it....thanks Mario Kart.
• MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
• Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
• I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
• Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
• Bad decisions make good stories.
• Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
• If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
• Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from; this shouldn't be a problem....
• You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
• There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
• I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
• Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.
• I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren’t watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'
• While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and USA . No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don’t win, they are executed.
• I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Darnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
• I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
• When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
• Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
• As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
• It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
• I think that if, years down the road when I’m trying to have a kid, I find out that I’m sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.
• Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I’d bet my a$$ everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...
• My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the h do I respond to that?
• I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
• I wonder if cops ever get ticked off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
• The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimate d that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There’s nothing like being made to feel like a fatty before dinner.

Congratulations! You made it to the end. I hope at least one of these tidbits made you chuckle.

Books of 2009

Looking back at my list of books for the year is kind of like reading an abbreviated journal of my life. Last year you could tell when I was depressed and hiding from the world (I reread all of my "forbidden books," the ones I read when I want to escape from real life. But you've never seen them because I am too ashamed to display on the shelves. Or I have been. I think I've changed my mind about them; if my dad didn't have them in NY, I would put them out right now).

This year you can see the different genres I got stuck in (I do heart a good Muslim woman's memoir), the children's books I indulged in (oh, Mr. Popper!), and Harry Potter...yet again (this year my excuse was needing a refresher of #6 since I was attempting to read it in Italian. But once I got started I couldn't stop). I clearly read far too much fiction this year; I remember when I used to read educational books...once upon a time. And then there's the odd book club book that I would never ever choose for myself. But I was surprised to find that I actually liked most of them.

So here they are (at least the ones I can remember), in mostly chronological order, 12,739 pages of 35 books. Red = my very very favorite ones (and I really can't pick just 1. And obviously Harry Potter would be included). Blue = the worst.

1. The Alliance; Gerald Lund
2. The Good Earth; Pearl S. Buck
3. The Kid who Climbed Everest; Bear Grylls
4. Sold; Patricia McCormick
5. Howl's Moving Castle; Diana Wynne Jones
6. The Glass Castle; Jeanette Walls
7. Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince; J. K. Rowling
8. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows; J. K. Rowling
9. The Picture of Dorian Gray; Oscar Wilde
10. Mr. Popper's Penguins; Richard and Florence Atwater
11. The Book Thief; Maruks Zusak
    
12. State of Fear; Michael Crichton
13. Angels and Demons; Dan Brown
14. Mrs. Dalloway; Virginia Wolf
15. Code Talkers; Joseph Bruchac
16. Don't Sweat the Small Stuff; Richard Carlson
    
17. Siddartha; Herman Hesse
18. The Mole People; Jennifer Toth
19. The Islamist; Ed Husain
20. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy; Douglas Adams
21. The Reluctant Fundamentalist; Mohsin Hamid
22. Grammar Girl's Quick and Dirty Tips for Better Writing; Mignon Fogarty
23. Britannia in Brief; Banker and Mullins
24. The Second Summer of the Sisterhood; Ann Brashares
25. Girls in Pants; Ann Brashares
26. Forever in Blue; Ann Brashares
    
27. Prisoner of Tehran; Marina Nemat
28. The Old Man and the Sea; Ernest Hemingway
    
29. The Amulet of Samarkand; Jonathon Stroud
30. The Golem's Eye; Jonathon Stroud
31. Ptolemy's Gate; Jonathon Stroud
32. Leadership and Self-deception; Arbinger Institute
33. The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society; Mary Ann Schafer
34. The Art of Racing in the Rain; Garth Stein
35. Kristin Lavransdatter; Sigrid Undset
    

Here's to seven years. Happy anniversary, tio. Ya tin bajo.

Merry Christmas.

I've noticed that many of the Santas at the malls this year are wearing pajamas. I want to know what happened to his fuzzy red suit. I miss it.

Why is it that when one emotional thing happens, the rest of all my emotional instabilities come bursting forth? It's a torrent. The dam has burst! Quick! Get out of the way!

12 days of Christmas

I know I already posted a clip of Kathleen Battle and Frederica von Stade singing at Carnegie Hall, but I couldn't resist this one. Just look at Kathleen's face. And the puffed sleeves (which seem to double as a barrier to keep Frederica at bay). And check out the conductor's glasses. Awesome.

things i've learned this semester

1. One rotten student can profoundly influence a classroom...for the worse.
2. In Russian, if you say "I want you..." it can mean only one thing, and one thing only.
3. My students prefer me to wear boots.
4. Some students will always cheat, even if they know the answers.
5. Some students will never understand students who cheat. It boggles their mind to even think about it.
6. Armenians are some of the most charming people I have ever met.
7. I'm a dang good reading teacher even though it's my least favorite class to teach.
8. Sometimes cultural differences really do make things unworkable, in and out of the classroom.
9. It's more enjoyable to hug people who are slightly squishy.
10. Koreans generally stiffen like a board when receiving a hug from an American.
11. I can be quite spiteful when it comes down to it.
12. Community education classes (made up of mostly Hispanic residents with full time jobs and families) have the best students.
    
13. Small classes just might be more fun than large ones.
14. I'm too emotionally invested in my job.
15. Some girls really do go to college solely to find a husband.
    
16. I regret to say that I am a pushover. Which isn't really a recent revelation.
17. Cliques are bad.
18. They always say don't grade emotionally...how do you not?
19. Korean Christmases are more like Valentine's day.
20. Wearing a Muslim headscarf can be a fashion statement, even if you're an inactive Muslim and only wear a scarf once a week.
21. Having one or two students who desperately want to learn make all the rest of the crud worth it.
22. I'm very happy to be done with this semester.

a missing t?

Well, it's not really new, just being used in a different way. A few weeks ago, I asked how you pronounce words that have a t in the middle. Words like mountain, center, cater, and rotten. I was hoping to get a wide variety of responses, but then I remembered that only my western friends look at my blog. I've kind of fallen out of contact with my east coast friends who might possibly have had something different to add.

But then again, maybe my east coast friends would have had similar results. You see, dear Utahns, a glottal stop (or the stopping of air in the back of your throat) replacing a t in the middle of a word might not be a true Utahism. Some linguists think that it's actually quite common throughout the country. A linguist from the U of U says that she has observed this pronunciation all around the country, but that it has received a negative reaction only in Utah and Vermont. (Utahns are always quick to be critical of the way other Utahns speak, especially when it's perceived to be "wrong" or "different." That definitely says something about Utah culture, doesn't it).

One of my former professors at BYU suggests that pronouncing mountain like "mow-un" is more common among females under 40 in the west (which happens to be the group of people most likely to initiate a language change...and also happens to be in harmony with your comments). He may be right (who am I do disagree with one of my thesis readers!), but I tend to agree with the U of U professor. I wouldn't be at all surprised to hear someone from Virginia or California or Iowa replacing their t with a glottal stop. I'm hoping the Uof U prof will do some research proving this is a nationwide phenomenon. Otherwise I might have to.

You can read/watch more about this here.

remodel #2

Spare room before:
I was almost fond of the blue sky-scape style wall paper. Almost. Ooo, and those lacy curtains!

Spare-room-turned-library after :

We have another shelf hidden off in the corner where you can't see it. Looking at these pictures makes me want more books. And more and more.

We still have a few things to do...like find a better place than the floor for our internet router. And finish painting the windows (one of us believes in avoiding the less pleasant tasks for as long as possible. The other wants to have them done yesterday. You decide which one of me and T-rav is which).