The other day I was talking to a friend about her 2 week old baby (we'll call her Bertha) and she asked me "when are you going to come meet Bertha?" There was something very strange to me in that question. Can you guess what it is?
Keep thinking...
I was surprised by her asking me to come meet her baby (did you guess right?). I was expecting her to ask me when I was going to come see her baby, which is what I was accustomed to hearing, not meet.
When I hear the verb meet, I think of becoming acquainted with someone. To me, that implies equal acquainting between people. A baby, in my opinion, although she may have the beginnings of her own personality, is not yet cognizant enough to become acquainted with anyone.
In my curiosity, I asked my mom what she would say (without telling her about meet), and she used the verb see. When I used a sentence in this way with meet, she looked at me funny...which leads me to wonder if this is a trend among 20-30ish women (and men?). But is it regional? I have no idea. I've heard many of my friends use meet, but then again, most of those with babies live in Utah right now.
I was also thinking that this might say something about the general feeling towards babies these days...please bear in mind that I have no babies and don't recall what it was like for mothers 30 years ago, but I think younger women are more likely to feel like their baby is a real, unique person right when she's born than women of the previous generation. I think babies used to just be, well, babies, whereas now they're this miracle of a human that I (well, not I, but you know what I mean) produced in this very baby-centered culture.
Have you heard men or women (or both) use meet? What would your mom say? What have you heard/what would you say?
6 comments:
It's tricky to get stats on this sort of thing, since it's such a colloquial expression, but a general Google search on "come see my baby" vs. "come meet my baby" indicates that the former is still preferred to the latter by a ratio of about 2:1.
I would say "see," but I actually think that I have said "meet" before to some new mothers (as in, "We are excited to meet little so-and-so!"), so that they would feel like I consider their baby to be a person (and not an object)). Perhaps "meet" would also be appropriate if the baby is a relative, and you knew you would have continued interaction with this person for the rest of your life?
I think "meet" also means that you want to have physical interaction with the baby (i.e. holding it, rocking it, talking to it), instead of just looking at it. (Interestingly, though, I have recently become very aware of how I don't really like touching or interacting with any kid besides my own. In one situation, I have to force myself to ask to hold a baby, because I knew the parents would probably be offended if I didn't show interest in the kid!)
But, all that being said, I think "see" generally is more appropriate, for the exact reasons that you mention. You can correct my if I'm wrong, but I feel like I always invited people to "see" Sam.
Thanks Katya! You'd think after so many years with Dr. Robertson as my professor I would have remembered the google search.
Good points M. I do think that moms today are more likely to consider their child to be a real person. I think my mom thought of all of us as blobs...which maybe explains my feelings toward babies a little more.
I just noticed how many typos I left in my comment above - how embarrassing! That's what happens when one types in a hurry, I guess.
Yeah, I do think that today many moms consider their baby to be a real person instead of a blob. I am continually surprised when I learn more about Sam's personality today (as a two year old), and I often think, "Wow, I would have appreciated you a lot more as infant, if I had known what a great personality you actually have."
Fautie says:
My generation viewed their babies as little people and not just blobs. And personalities start showing early in the child's life. Never the less I would use the word see rather than meet because the baby is not going to interact in a meeting sort of way. To ask someone to come meet a 2 week old seems rather odd.
I would use the word meet. Any time I meet ANYONE, including a newborn, I feel as if I am meeting them rather than just seeing them. After the first introduction to the baby, I would then use the word see. But I still feel that you are meeting the baby. And while the baby not remember meeting me, I will always remember the first interaction I had with them, therefore the first time i met them I would use the word meet.
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