But then I read this article and I felt a little validated and a lot more discouraged. Apparently we've reached that period in life where making friends, real friends, is pretty damn hard. Not only do you have to try to match up a husband and a wife with another husband and wife (which is far harder than you might think between me and T-rav), but you also have to have 3 things: "proximity, repeated, unplanned interactions; and a setting that encourages people to let their guard down and confide in each other." A HA! So that's why we have no friends.
So what to do about it? I've considered having monthly house parties, with the secret motive of screening for bosom friends throughout the evening, but sometimes that sounds rather exhausting. . We go to work and church activities, but making friends in college wasn't hard (probably because we had those 3 points mentioned above), and I don't really want it to be hard now. I think I've become a little socially lazy...and I'm tired of superficial social interactions.
The end result of all this is T-rav and I have gotten even better at hanging out together, I've read a lot of books, and we've watched probably one too many television series on netflix. I miss my real friends more with every failed friend date. We're happy here, but sometimes we're a little lonely.
5 comments:
YES! hahah, this makes me secretly happy, however, I can also sympathize. I am also sorry that you don't have anyone to replace me with!
(smile)
Aw! I was going to write the same thing as phin, but she beat me to it!
J read this article about two weeks ago, and we talked about it then. Although I feel like I have found two or three good friends over here, I don't think that I could ever be as good of friends with them as I am with you guys. There is a different type of history between people that met when they were single, I think. You guys knew me when I did silly things and dated silly boys - and yet you still liked me!
I'll admit, most of my friends are internet friends (who I occasionally see in real life) but I'm ok with that. I'm pretty picky too and I'd much rather be alone (or with Max or a good book) than with someone that I didn't really like. As a 13 year old that really worried my Mother but I think I turned out just fine. (And she mostly does to.)
Most of "our" friends are Max's friends who I mostly like but whose wives I only kind of like. (It works out that we live away...)
But now that I think about it, our other couple friends we met while in special circumstances like the student village in Israel. Maybe you and trav should join a commune?
Also, I hope all those people don't read your blog :)
Phin and M, you know I can never replace you!
M, at first I thought it had to do with being single, but then I reconsidered. I have quite a few very close friends (couples and singles) that I met as a married person while in grad school or even while teaching at UVU. I fear it's our creeping age.
Brooke, I have a secret list of people I'd like to start a small village with. It would be mostly self-sustaining and we'd definitely need a qualified librarian. Care to join? ;)
DC is also a tricky place because there are so many people coming and going with school (so many grad/law/med schools in the area!), government internships, and the foreign service/state department folks and the like. It seems there is an unusually high turnover rate in the area in general and more specifically among young-ish people. However, David and I did meet some of our bestest friends in the whole world in DC. Don't give up just yet ;)
Post a Comment