personality-free zone

I found my answer. According to Hartman's The Color Code, I don't have a personality. Or rather, I'm deceiving myself to the point where my personality has become mush. You see, I took his little no-fail personality test several times, and each time my results were muddled. The first time (taking it alone, with no assistance) I was 15 Blue, 14 Yellow, 13 Red, and 3 White. The next time (with T-rav's advice), I was 14 Blue, 14 Red, 14 Yellow. The third time I took it alone (again) and promised to be extra honest with myself. The results: 13 Blue, 15 Red, 14 Yellow. Finally, I took it with my friend Lindsey and had the same results as with T-rav. Now, if you haven't read this book, you may be wondering what the big deal is. It's this: Hartman claims that everyone is born with an innate personality, one that will always be dominant throughout your entire life. No matter what. And if you take his test and don't have a dominant color, you're lying to yourself. Or you're confused. Or conflicted. Either way, you have a problem.

I felt kind of lost for a few days. Maybe I really had lost my personality! Maybe that explained why I have often felt torn in certain social situations (should I sit by the wall and observe, trying not to talk to anyone, or jump into the fray and perform an Irish jig? Should I boss people around and start giving orders or just do it myself?). Maybe Hartman was right! Maybe I really didn't know myself anymore.

But after a few days of thinking and reading, I decided Hartman's theory is a load of bull. How can you claim that a personality will remain the same (deep down) throughout a person's life? Can't people mature and change? And why do we have to have just 1 dominant personality? What's wrong with having 3 equal parts (aside from occasionally being confused).

So I've found my personality again. I'm bossy when I need to be, constantly loyal to my friends, and spontaneous and care free when I can be. I worry too much, can't stick to 1 thing for a long time, and tend to know everything (really, I do). Sometimes I find the three parts (as described by Hartman) to be divisive (as mentioned above), but I think it makes me stronger. I can adapt to different situations more easily than if I had just 1 dominant side of the spectrum.

So Hartman can take his prescriptive theories and stick 'em where the sun don't shine. I enjoy being able to analyze how and why people interact they way they do, but don't try to tell me there's 1 answer for everyone. My redness refuses to be told how to think.