Today shouldn't be a slumpy day. Today had so much potential. I bought my level 3 students candy and did a fun activity (or fun for me. They had to eat black licorice with their eyes closed- not knowing what it was- and then describe it), I went to a fantastic lecture with the inspiring Uyghur woman Rebiya Kadeer, I didn't have to teach much of my level 4 class (because of the lecture that we attended) and I get to go to Irish dance. And I really like what I wore today, which, shallow as that may seem, actually can affect my mood for the day.
But I still feel slumpy. I partially blame two of my students. They're frequently negative about the topics we discuss in class and today I really didn't know how to react to them. Usually I just shrug them off and continue with our conversation, but today their brief comments about nothing made me go from perfectly content to perfectly not.
The thing is, I've been feeling like that more and more this semester. Now if it were January or February, this would be quite normal. But usually in the fall I'm happy to be back at school and starting afresh. But I'm not. I'm less patient with my students and less inclined to spend extra time doing things for them. I know I should "live in the moment," but I'm exceedingly antsy to move on with our life. I just wish I knew what "moving on" entailed, other than moving out of Utah. I'm going to stir crazy and some days I think the unsatisfied wanderlust might just kill me.
And more and more often I wonder if I really want to teach. Don't get me wrong- I really like teaching. But isn't there something more meaningful I could be doing? Like working with the Uyghurs to help free their people? Or finding money for my Haitian friend whose school is still in ruins? Or going back to Guatemala to help them with their gardens so their children aren't malnourished and sick? Or...or....
Sorry for complaining. I just had to get that off my chest. Do you ever feel this way?
5 comments:
I hope your day gets better! How is Bertha doing?
I feel that way all the time...
Oh yeah. And to top it all off, my favorite chicken died, which apparently is silly to be sad about (since chickens are a dime a dozen), but I LIKED my fat, ugly, featherless, tomato-loving chicken. She had personality. Thanks for asking, Layla.
Sorry about the lame day, friend. I think it's normal.
Those two students sound really frustrating. I would have a hard time dealing with that.
P.S. Teaching (especially teaching English) is a very noble cause. Helping someone to acquire the language skills necessary in order to work and survive in a country (something that could possibly help them for the rest of their lives), is very meaningful. It's much more meaningful than teaching someone how to look at a work of art. :)
I usually feel that way! Maybe... we should force our students into service! :)
Post a Comment