Which brings me to the question: which do you prefer, ma'am or miss? Or neither? I've always thought of ma'am as the title reserved for WOMEN. Moms. Grandmas. Miss is for young women who look like they might be in college. Or teenage girls. People like me. But apparently I look like I'm getting on in years, at least enough to be called ma'am. Or perhaps, as I prefer to think, miss is simply falling out of fashion. For example, I know that in German the charming word fraulein is falling out of use to be replaced across the board by the more dignified and all-encompassing frau. Is the same thing happening in French? Portuguese? Spanish? (I should know the answer to this in Italian, but it's been too long). Is this a conscious politically-correct thing to do (we don't know if someone is unmarried or young, so we'll call everyone ma'am to avoid potential mistakes) or something else?
Whatever the case, ma'am just makes me feel so old.
5 comments:
For the most part, I was referred to as a "moça" (young woman" or even "menina" (girl) when I was in Brazil. I always felt really off-put when someone called me a "senhora" (which is the equivalent for "ma'am"). But I wonder if I look more like a "senhora" now, since I left Brazil almost seven years ago.
Ugh - That's an appalling thought to think I'm a senhora. I think I'm older than I feel (and I probably look older than I actually think I appear).
I never call anyone miss. I think partly because I feel like it refers to a young girl, maybe a teenager, and I probably wouldn't address a younger girl like that because it would make me feel old. Also, I don't really remember anyone around me using the term miss as I grew up. I've probably heard it more in the last couple of years than in the rest of my life combined. Maybe that's because I have recently lived in different parts of the country (East and South) and in larger cities. As far as ma'am, I do call women ma'am quite often, but I think the woman would have to appear to be at least 5 years older than me for it to seem appropriate. Overall, I don't use miss or ma'am for anyone near my age or younger, only older and it is always meant to be a polite way of saying "hey you! person whose name I don't know, but I would like to respectfully converse with." I never use it to mean you look old, or like my mom, or that I'm only speaking to you politely because you're a woman and you couldn't handle coarse talk.
It was always my understanding that Miss was for un-married women, Ms. is for whomever, and Mrs. is for if you are married. Ma'am is for anyone who is an adult, in my opinion. Not that I like being addressed as Ma'am, but in the military everyone calls me ma'am. Like my neighbor who is older than me always calls me Ma'am. I always want to tell them not to call me ma'am. That being said, I prefer it to Miss which makes me feel 12, even if I do look 12. What really tricks me is when peole call me Sister Greer or Noelle's mom. Those make me feel ancient.
Once in Paris, I was on the metro with Noelle, a wee babe, and a man was trying to get my attention. He was not French and kept saying "mere" to me, which means mother. He just kept saying it over and over until I looked at him - Mother, mother, mother. Ha, I had no idea what he was talking about. Nothing like a little language barrier to make the metro ride more fun.
Kelly, if I needed to address you and you were a stranger, I would probably see your wedding ring, and then call you ma'am.
I didn't grow up in a culture that used "ma'am" or "sir" so I rarely use them. Though, living in DC I think caused me to start to use them more.
Yesterday while getting a new watch battery I was referred to as "the gal in grey." I prefer "gal" to "lady" or "woman" and I prefer "miss" to "ma'am."
David is bewildered that I don't like being called a woman. His argument is that technically I am a woman, while my argument is that it makes me feel old.
ego non, I totally agree. Woman makes me feel old. Woman is a section of clothing stores that I generally can't fit in to. Woman is an adult.
I'm a girl, thank you very much.
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