dreams, insomnia, and parallel universes

Let me begin today by detailing a typical night's "sleep" for me:

I go to bed somewhere between 11:30 and 12. I promptly fall asleep without much trouble and do not stir for a few hours. By between 2 and 3 am, I have woken up, looked at the clock, walked around, and gotten back in bed. After 30ish minutes of tossing and turning, I fall asleep. Well, I kind of fall asleep. It's a weird state of sleep where I'm not entirely conscious of what's going on around me, but I'm definitely not completely asleep.

And then the dreams begin.

My dreams are amazingly vivid and life-like. I'm always aware of what's going on and have completely coherent conversations and interactions with people. My dream-self lives its own life
in my dreams, a life that is very different from my own. I fight battles, (including fist fights, although I've never been able to give anyone a good punch in the face. I think it has to do with having never actually socked anybody's eye in real life), fly around the world (and I mean literally fly, not on a plane) and occasionally do a bit of magic.

But I'm actually starting to think that my dreams aren't just dreams; I think my soul is being transported into a parallel universe where it is forced to fight and chase bad guys most of the night, and my body sleeping in my bed feels the effects of the adventures. On nights when my dream battles are especially tiring, I wake up drenched in sweat and exhausted. On the times when I'm not fighting, I usually have all too real conversations with my real-life friends...except there's always one different and strange thing about the person I'm talking to (ex.- last night zillah's older sister was pregnant), but everything else is usually the same. And then when I wake up, it's really really hard to separate what happened in my dream with real life...I'm still not sure if sars is pregnant or not...T-rav assures me she's not...

And lest you think I just have a hero-complex, I'm not always the main character in my dreams. Sometimes I just observe what everyone else is doing and don't actually participate.

Trav thinks my dreams are crazy enough they would make an excellent Japanimation film. He's probably right.

an evening at the theatre

Last night I went to a "Side-by-Side" concert at the new-ish Covey Center for the Arts with the Utah Valley Symphony. They played some of my favorite pieces: Vaughan Williams' Tallis Fantastia, Bach's Brandenburg #4, and Beethoven's Fifth Symphony (might I suggest listening to the 2nd, 3rd, or 4th movement, which, while not as famous as the first, are really really great). I was pleasantly surprised by how well the Utah Valley Symphony actually played.

Until, however, the "side-by-side" part of the concert began. Side by side = really awful youth symphony playing along with the fairly decent Utah Valley Symphony. Somehow I managed to still enjoy myself through the appallingly out of tune cellos, the viola soloist who never came in on time, a cellist who kept hitting her bracelet against her cello, creating a lovely clank every time she moved her hand, and the violinists who never quite reached their high notes. And that combined with their inability to ever come in on time (while the adult symphony actually followed the conductor) made for an interesting performance.

Somehow I still really enjoyed myself...maybe it's been too long since I last attended a musical event, but I found the whole situation to be rather endearing. AND the audience was probably the best one I've ever been part of in Utah- they didn't clap at the wrong time even once! AND lots of old ladies were wearing their ball gowns. AND I really love how Beethoven ends his 5th symphony about 9 times...just when you think it's over, he surprises you with a few more measures. Just go listen to it.

Oh, and thanks, KBYU for the free tickets (go here to try and win some for yourself).

a wee little adventure

Goblin Valley- yes, we did bring books to read in the sun (blessed, blessed sun, it's been so long!) after we explored the Goblins. Does that make us nerds?



Little Wild Horse Canyon- I pondered on what I would do if we were overcome by a flash flood (aside from dying) and decided that I would scale up the walls, of course. Please don't mention how very awkward I look. Somebody took the picture before I was ready.

what did you learn in church today?

Here's what I learned at ward conference:

1. Women are inherently more spiritchal than men just because they're women. It's kind of like being a nurturer. Because of this, if women have a suggestion for their husband, such as a correction for something he does wrong, husband must listen without getting defensive or angry.
   
2. Men preside over the family and have an inherent need to protect their women. This means that the wife has to do what her husband says.
   
3. The only time men generally open their mouths is to switch which foot is in it.
4. Getting married is really hard for women and really easy for men. Women are instantly lonely and friendless after marriage, and everything stays the same for men. The best way for women to overcome this loneliness is not to continue with the friends she had, but to go to all Relief Society activities and make sure to do her visiting teaching.

So the problem with all of this is not that the ideas or principles are all incorrect, but being taught as blanket statements that are true for all people, everywhere, all the time. If you don't fit this mold, there's either something wrong with you, or you're obviously not being righteous enough (it's true- I'm not as spiritual as Trav. Maybe it's because I'm from The Mission Field).

We've decided that there's a great Gap of Understanding between us and our Stake President. He means well and teaches correct principles, but there's a serious lack of ability to relate to people in our age group. He's the kind of guy who seriously believes that the majority of girls at BYU are there solely for their MRS degree, and then plan on doing a PHT (Putting Hubby Through- this was also discussed over the pulpit today). Heaven forbid being 26 and still childless...I must be baren, right? Because why else would I still be in school (or just barely finished).

Luckily, our Bishop (a Brit) and High Councilman (a former Hell's Angel) are much more grounded or updated or able to relate to a different generation. It's interesting to see their different perspectives, considering that they're all about the same age. Maybe it's because they're both from The Mission Field.

Well, I suppose I can endure rubbish from our Stake Pres once every six months...at least he didn't give the same talk he gave the previous 2 years in a row...at least this time he didn't ask me why I don't have kids yet, after having talked to me for only 30 seconds (like he did during my last temple recommend interview).

pros and cons

Really dreadful things about school starting again:

• getting up early
  
• responsibilities
• not reading a book a day
• being inside during all 2 hours of daylight for the next 2.5 months
  
• really incompetent students
• not cooking all day long
  
• not being able to leave the country any time I feel like it...like tomorrow
  
• German class
  

Good things about school starting again:

• money
• having my favorite Nepali student back in my class!
• throwing ESL parties instead of having lecture so they can make me delicious food from their native lands...only occasionally, of course
  
• meeting my students from Kuwait and Thailand...oooo
  
• German class
• fantastic fellow teachers
• getting days off (this is different from having every day off because their rarity makes them more enjoyable)

books books books

Here are a few of my favorite books from this past year:

A House of Mirth by Edith Wharton
Peter Pan by J.M. Barrie
Anthem by Ayn Rand
Assorted Short Stories by George MacDonald
The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver
The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien
John Adams by David McCullogh
No Opportunity Wasted by Phil Koeghan
The Lemon Tree by Sandy Tolan
Out of the Silent Planet by C.S. Lewis
Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell by Susanna Clarke
Persuasion by Jane Austen
Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson

You should read them.

the travel bug

I always love traveling. Always. But sometimes this desire to travel overwhelms and nearly incapacitates me. It's like a disease. It's all I can think about; all I can talk about. Doing normal menial daily tasks makes me want to die, and my mood gradually becomes more and more morose as the day progresses because I'm here instead of traveling around the world somewhere.

And it drives me crazy to not be able to just pick up and go. Technically, I guess I could just go somewhere right now. But there's that whole responsible thing...I shouldn't just use all my savings to book a trip to wherever just because I feel like it. I shouldn't disappear from UVU at the beginning of the semester because then I probably wouldn't have a job when I returned. And then I get really angry at the thought of letting social constraints actually constrain me from doing what I want.

Actually, those are really the only two things keeping me here. T-rav is unemployed, so he could leave at any time...

Anyhow, when I have this travel bug, I don't know what to do with myself. And poor T-rav has to deal with a fuming, restless, inconsolable wife. Driving fast is one alternative that slightly helps (but then there's the fear of a speeding ticket- Matt, could I borrow your patrol car one day?). A distraction from a friend is also helpful (thanks B-rad and Caroline for unknowingly saving T-rav for a miserable day with me yesterday). Cooking is another alternative, but only if I have someone else to cook for. Usually I end up surfing the internet for cheap airfare and travel deals, exacerbating the situation more than ever.

I guess I'll just have to be moderately miserable until spring comes and I can actually go somewhere.

I just thought you should all see what I made for dinner tonight:


and this

Here's a few photos of what we've been up to the past 2 weeks (thanks, santa, for the new camera).

In case you can't quite read it, T-rav's shirt says "If you can read this make me a sandwich." Oh, and he's imitating my female Korean students. They like to cover their faces.

Lots of reading on Christmas day

Kimbre's Christmas lemon meringue pie (I had a great time making the peaks on the meringue)

Ah, Matt. Always so charming...

At my Brazilian student Andressa's reception

Our dear Arwen, fresh home from her mission, creating a veritable Swedish feast

Semlor: a delectable Swedish treat of a sweet roll stuffed with almond paste and whipped cream

Hiking up Rock Canyon on New Years Day

I'm trying to figure out my camera and experimenting with different things on a photoshop-esque program. What think ye? The color was a little strange on this one...and still is, I think.

Three Cups of Tea

Read this book! It follows 10 years in the life of Greg Mortenson as he struggles to build and sustain schools in Pakistan and Afghanistan. It's well written and compelling, the kind of book you don't want to put down. Mortenson's institution, the Central Asia Institute, especially focuses on educating children in non-extremist views (in contrast to the Islamic fundamentalist education they would alternatively receive), improving health, and teaching young girls who would not otherwise have the chance to get an education (aren't they cute? I adore small Muslim children). The book talks about peoples who are mostly unheard of in this part of the world...go try and find the area called Baltistan on a map...It's quite an interesting place. But most of all, this book will inspire you. Mortenson is the kind of person that we need a few more of in the world. In the face of ridiculous challenges, he never gave up. His selflessness has enabled thousands of peeps to live better lives.

Read it.

Now does anyone know where I can find $12,000 for my friend's school in Haiti?