flies

I feel ridiculous and am exceedingly glad no one can see me. I have been sitting here at my computer desk reading my email while wildly waving my arms around at the Most Pesky Fly ever to be hatched on this earth! It's one of those slow moving flies. You know the ones; they land lazily on everything (especially on you), buzz around your head, and move just fast enough to evade every attempt on their lives. It brings all sorts of curses to mind...

I remember the montón de flies that used to terrorize my family when we lived in my grandfather's farmhouse (which is located about 25 feet from the front door of the barn). As a kid, I don't think I really minded the flies. But I did find it rather repulsive to turn the corner into the kitchen and look up to a strand of sticky tape hanging from the ceiling with dead flies plastered all over it. I'm' sure my parents were rather shocked to turn around and see my little sister with fly wings stuck in her teeth because oddly enough, she enjoyed snacking on them as a 2 year old.

Of course, someone was usually readily equipped with a fly swatter at all times. The same fly-loving sister would inevitably flee in horror when ever it came out for fear of touching the fly guts. Once, my dad even offered to pay us 5 or 10 cents per fly swatted. My money grubbing little heart jumped at the change until he informed me that I also had to pick the dead ones up I swatted. No thanks, fautieo! Soon it simply became a crime to leave the doors open. My mum spent her time feeding us, working, swatting flies, and shutting the door behind us to keep more flies from coming in, a futile endeavor indeed.

And now I find myself wishing for one of our speckly old fly swatters or even a small strand of sticky tape. I could go buy some, I guess. But it hardly seems worth it for 3 rotten flies. Perhaps I'll have a go with my havaianas, number one choice of angry Brazilian mothers in need of something to launch at a stray dog or cat, spiders and other insects, unruly neighbors, or even poorly behaved children.