- Chips
- Chex mix
- Several cookies from the vending machine
- Lots of chocolates
- Salted flavored nuts
Friday, December 12, 2008
you are what you eat
I have a friend who is overweight and quite miserable about it. I enjoy spending time with her, but I often feel quite awkward around her. Let's say, for example, that we're having lunch together. I might sit down to a salad and yogurt, or a sandwich, or even something relatively unhealthy like a hamburger or greasy cafeteria food. It doesn't matter what I'm eating- she always has some kind of comment about it. She might ask me how I eat things like that and stay so thin, or comment on how I'm so good for eating so healthy, or how she's so fat and will never look like me...blah blah blah. For a long time, I felt almost guilty for eating around her because I'm skinny and she's not. But over the past few weeks I've been watching what she eats and my guilt has lessened. Here's an example of a typical meal with this friend:
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9 comments:
it's true that one is what one eats...but i wouldn't tell her that.
oh don't worry- i would never say a word- she might sit on me. teehee.
Sounds like the snacks i LOEV to eat too! ;) And my booty has expanded :( Buuuuuuuuuuut when in brasil....way to feel at home! My booty is still actually quite small in comparison haha
I had a friend who used to always talk about food. So one day I just bluntly said, "I don't want to hear about what you eat for at least 10 minutes". It was great. To this friend I would just be honest: tell her you watch what you eat, you work out, and you make fresh meals for dinner, being thin is something that most of us have to work at, and everyone can see the results.
Another note: if she comments on what you are eating comment on what she is eating. Sometimes just saying what is is the best answer.
Fautie says
I wonder if she will still be your friend if she reads this blog post.
Anyway, tell her to get a bike!! YEA!!!!!!
Fautie Hill
It's a hard topic to bring up. Even as a clinician it is hard for me to do but since most American's health problems these days can be linked to poor lifestyle choices I have to address it. You can be gentle and straightforward at the same time. Sounds like your friend could use a little honesty either from you or someone else brave enough to do it.
Sensitive topic.
I have to say that, while I agree that being slim and healthy can be attained through dietary choices, I think it may be a bit simplistic to assert that one is what one eats. In my case, I lose weight only when I restrict my caloric intake extremely and eat an exclusively vegan diet (without nuts, grains, or oil; any of these will halt my weight loss even when eaten in small quantities, such as a cup of oatmeal, a handful of nuts or oily dressing on a salad ). At times I manage to drum up sufficient motivation to improve my health and reduce my risk of disease, and I eat salad without dressing, lentils without salt, and spinach smoothies. If I diverge from this sort of strict diet, I simply don't lose weight (even if I am going to the gym, a luxury many cannot afford for financial or logistical reasons). I recognize many people can lose weight more easily than I. I also recognize that I have eaten many unhealthy foods during my life, as have, I would contend, nearly all Americans. I do not condone eating processed foods high in salt, fat (especially trans fat), or refined carbohydrates. These foods are unhealthy, but most people in our culture do indulge, thin and fat alike, though perhaps to differing extents for a variety of reasons.
Overweight is a major health problem in the United States, but I believe blaming an individual for a biopsychosociogenic condition (I made that word up--like it?) may fail to recognize the complexity of the issue for many. As someone who gains weight the moment a piece of cheese or cookie passes my lips, I feel obliged to speak on behalf of those for whom overweight is nearly an inevitability in America.
I hope we can all do our best to make healthy choices for ourselves and our families, and I think we would be wise to refrain from judgment of others, their choices, and the reasons for their choices, of which we can never understand much.
That said, it can be socially awkward when someone brings up a sensitive topic like weight or diet (such intimate topics, indeed!), especially in the inappropriate way you describe. I hope you find a way to manage this topic with this person; I find it very uncomfortable when people make comments about what I am (or am not!) eating and/or my weight. Good luck!
I have always wondered why it is inappropriate to make jokes or talk about people being fat to their face, but it is perfectly socially acceptable to make jokes and call people skinny right to their face. Why must we avoid talking about overweight people's weight, but we can say anything we wish about skinny people's weight. Grrrr. On my mission people always made jokes about my weight/size and I found it very irritating. Even now as a 9 month pregnant woman, I want to pop everyone in the face who says, "oh, you are so tiny." Maybe they just haven't looked down at the tumor on my midsection...whoa, I digress. So now I just tell people they are fat to their face. Just kidding. But I do like how in many countries outside the United States do not find it rude to say that some is fat (they would never use a PC word such as overweight). In fact, to them saying someone is fat is merely a statement of fact or description and not an insult at all. All that being said, I hope I didn't offend anyone by using the word fat so much in this comment.
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