I almost died this weekend. Almost.
This past Friday, with the much appreciated help of Pete, Josh and Caroline, I lugged all our stuff out of our storage unit and into our new house. Saturday, Phin and I spent much of the afternoon cleaning (since the previous tenants didn't really get to it; don't worry- my rent was discounted for my trouble) and then making a mess of what we cleaned by ripping off layer #1 of wallpaper. We soon found ourselves starving and headed off to Subway for a late lunch.
About four hours later, I found myself pinned in the bathroom for sundry reasons we shan't discuss so openly on my blog. Suffice it to say the situation was ugly.
I spent most of Sunday in bed, trying not to think about food.
I spent most of Monday in bed, thinking about food, but being too weak to get up and find some.
Through many hours of pondering I decided that if there were ever a famine in the land, the kind that uses up all of the food storage in Utah County and beyond, the kind where people are dying left and right, I'd be the first to go.
This thought kind of depressed me. I used to think of myself as tough (although I'm pretty sure I could take most of my friends in a fist fight...not that I'd ever want to...or ever thought about it) I really don't think I'd survive very long without food. I'm definitely no Olan from The Good Earth (excellent book, by the way. I read it twice this year) who can go for a days surviving on only a bean while being pregnant with her 4th child. I would have died long before we got to the bean-a-day ration.
No, really. I would have. I had only gone a peasly 36 hours without anything of substance. Granted, I didn't really have anything at all left in my system, but still. Thirty six hours, and getting up to take a shower exhausted me to the point where I could barely lift my head to take a drink. I had to take a 1.5 hour nap before I felt ready to crawl over to the faucet and refill my water glass. Pathetic, isn't it?
I was also slightly alarmed to note my increased heart rate every time I moved, and shallow, rapid breathing. I could imagine my organs beginning their initial shut down due to lack of nourishment (e- how long would that actually take?). I really hoped zillah had taken good notes on my funeral requests (t-rav isn't to be trusted to remember Brahms requiem). I wondered how much longer I could live off water alone...
When finally I dramatically dragged myself out of my wallowing over to the freezer (pity no one was there to see) where I was delighted to find not 1, but 2 real strawberry popsicles.
Saved.
And that is how I didn't actually die this weekend.
*My remaining complaint: my left eye is strangely blood-shot today. I imagine that it hurts. Any ideas why?
9 comments:
Wait am I missing something? Are you pregnant or just suffering from the flu?
The flu or food poisoning or the plague or something. At least I hope so.
You're eyes are bloodshot from the strain of your "crunches" while over the porcelain pony. Google the word "petechia".
Matt, why do you know that word? Experience?
Work related. When you strangle someone, their eyes tend to show it. We get to check on each of the bodies we deal with.
Gasp! My dramatic friend, I'm glad that you're alright! I could picture every moment of your suffering - your description was fantastic. Too bad I wasn't there, to help add more drama to the situation.
It sounds like you've had a dreadful time. I'm glad that you're moved (settled?) in the new house, though. Good luck with the wallpaper stripping. If you want tips on how to expedite the process, let me know. I pride myself on being quite the expert, after having stripped so many walls in this house.
Fautie Says:
Woe dear daughter I knew you were sick but did not realize it was that bad. Sorry you had to suffer alone.
You know I long ago decided had I been born 100 or more years earlier, or maybe even 30 or 40, you know, before antibiotic, I would had died before 10. Certainly before 20. I was a sickly child with bouts of whooping cough and border line pneumonia. At 18 I had pleurisy and it was so painful I thought I was going to die and almost wanted to. At 19 I had an ulcer. Having survived my childhood what do I end up with but cancer at 41 which certainly would have killed me had I been born even 25 year earlier perhaps.
So, you have bad genes. The miracle of modern science had allowed me to survive and pollute the gene pool which you are part of.
Sorry about that!
Hmmm, sounds like a possible subconjunctival hemorrhage (popped blood vessel underneath the top layer of the eye) to me. No worries, they heal up on their own in 1-2 weeks. Though, if starts to affect your vision, then I recommend you head in to see an eye doctor.
How fast would you die? Well, that depends. Dehydration could take a couple of days, depending on the overall health of the person. If you had a raging infection that made it into the blood stream (septicemia) you'd go much quicker. If you're in the ICU hooked to a bunch of machines, could be weeks or months, then you die, then your family gets the huge bill in the mail. I don't think you will die anytime soon. Though, I see what you're saying. Fast Sunday always makes me feel I'm on the brink of collapsing and perishing. And that isn't even close to 36 hours without food and water plus feeling putrid. Hope yer feeling better.
Where's your new house??
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