to mansplain:
1- to delight in
condescending, inaccurate explanations delivered with rock solid confidence of
rightness and that slimy certainty that of course he is right, because he is
the man in this conversation
2-
To explain in a patronizing manner, assuming total ignorance on the part of
those listening. The mansplainer is often shocked and hurt when their
mansplanation is not taken as absolute fact, criticized or even rejected
altogether
(from urbandictionary.com)
Now just to be clear, mainsplaining isn't just explaining something while being male (though for some it seems to be). It's when a male tells a female how to do something she already knows how to do, or how she is wrong about something she is actually right about, or miscellaneous and inaccurate "facts" about something she knows quite a lot more about than he does.
I also recognize that many men, and women, for that matter, are know-it-alls by nature. They'll condescendingly explain things to men, women, children, dogs, cats, whoever will listen. And some people go in to teacher mode when talking about something they know about (I'm sure I occasionally do this when discussing English. But at least I actually know something about it). It happens.
Off the top of my head, I can think of about five or six of my friends/acquaintances/co-workers who can't talk about a topic without mansplaining. I've experienced plenty of linguistically related mansplaining (some of them seem to think that speaking a second language or living in a foreign country somehow makes them an expert on grammar, semantics, phonology, or language history)--a science or math or engineering major telling me all about something I've spent 6 years formally studying (and many more informally). And of course, the mansplainer was always wrong. But much more often I have to endure mansplaining related to women and their roles, their feelings, and, worst of all, what they can/can't or should/shouldn't do.
Naturally, it infuriates me and my reaction is instantly prickly. I really hate being told what to do, but I especially hate it from a mansplainer. What gives him the right to tell me what I can do, how I really feel about something or how he's sure I'll feel when I get there, where I can go, etc.
When I take a step back and think about this logically, I realize that many of these guys may not realize that they're coming off in such a condescending or overbearing way. They may not even be particularly chauvinistic at heart. But that doesn't really make it any less irritating.
So my questions for you are: do you know a mansplainer? If you do, what does he mansplain about? And how do you respond?
12 comments:
Ha! I know of a mansplainer, but I think that he also mansplains with other men. (In other words, he always comes across as condescending and correct, even when in conversation with other men.) From what I can tell by the definition, a mansplainer doesn't necessarily need to be speaking with a woman in order to mansplain - am I right?
Actually, I'm not entirely sure since the definitions come from urban dictionary and they are easy to dispute. I personally think true mansplaining must be done towards a woman, otherwise he's just a know-it-all.
If a mansplainer is a man talking to anyone, which it what I got from the definition, like Buddy, then Justin is one.
If a mansplainer is only a man talking to a woman, such as you would say, then Justin is one.
:)
I really hope certain people don't see that comment....
Hahaha, so true.
Well, phin. It's not like you and Justin are bosom friends to begin with. So even if he happens to find my blog and condescend to read it and then leave a comment, I wouldn't be too worried.
my bishop.
that's all i'll say.
You forgot the other definitions from urbandictionary:
A meaningless term used by small-time radical feminists on Internet blogs. Essentially utilized as a way to shut down any male- or person they perceive as male- who dares to express an opinion that differs even slightly from their own warped version of reality. Even the fymynysts are unsure of exactly what it's supposed to mean- only that it has the word "man" in it and therefore must be bad and evil.
Or this gem (I like the creativity of his examples):
Originally, this term was used to describe boorish men who felt the need to "correct" what a woman said, even on topics that the man didn't know anything about.
However, the term quickly degenerated into a get-out-of-jail-free card used by angry women when a man dares to point out even the most blatant error.
Old: That Bob is trying to tell Jill how to raise a horse? She's raised championship thoroughbreds for decades and he's never even ridden a horse. What a stupid mansplainer!
New: OF COURSE HAMSTERS KNOW HOW TO SPEAK IN RUSSIAN! STOP MANSPLAINING!
Those definitions sound like defensive anonymous internet mansplaining (the worst kind) to me!
Agreed, Zillah! T-rav, you're just trying to stir up trouble.
Fautie says:
I think I have manslained at one time or another but maybe not. Does it count when you just naturally know everything and are always right....oh wait....heheheheh...just funnin. I sure hope I don't do it much. Your mother probably thinks I do but actually I think she does it in the feminine sense...heeheee...does she read your blog. Oh also, I like very much with what that bright young man Travis said.
Post a Comment