Wednesday, June 3, 2009

My beef with foreigners

Have you ever noticed that some of the things foreigners will say to you that you would almost never hear an American say? Like maybe something like this...
  • There are a lot of variations on the weight issue. You might hear something like this: Wow. You're a lot fatter since last year. Or have you gained weight? Or your butt has gotten a lot bigger. Or Are you pregnant? That dress looks makes you look pregnant.
  • General physical appearance: Your hair looks really weird today. What did you do? You cut your hair? oh, it looks terrible. Or why are you wearing that sweater?
  • My personal favorite: Why is your face all red? Why is it going red? Teacher, what's wrong? Why is your face so red it's going to burst like a squashed tomato?
  • This is the one exception to the "Americans would never say this" rule (and please read this with the intonation of a 15 year old girl): Oh my gosh, you're soo sunburned. Did you know you're burned? Wow.
I'm sure you can think of some others...and I guess you might hear a few of these from Americans from time to time, but usually never unsolicited. And there's definitely a difference between asking someone's opinion and just telling them they look dreadful. If you ask me what I think of your new haircut, I'll give you my honest opinion. I'm not going to lie just to make you feel good. But I'm also not about to volunteer this type of information without being asked.

What it really comes down to is I'm sick of my students' uninvited commentary on my personal appearance. I'm done with it! The next time one of my students randomly informs me something about myself that I didn't ask to be told, I just might punch them.

Do you think I'd get fired for knocking out a student?

12 comments:

Amy said...

Sounds like high time for a crucial cultural lesson. And some slapping. The only people who ask me if I'm pregnant or whether I have the chicken pox (acne) are under 5. And I slap nobody under the age of 10.

Miller Family said...

Wow you are a trooper for dealing with those comments. I would probably come home crying. Do they say that stuff to each other?

ixoj said...

I suppose I should clarify that I haven't personally experienced all of my examples. Only about half of them. :)

Kristi said...

I`ve experienced them as well. Brazilians are awfully blunt when it comes to personal appearance- mainly weight. I can't tell you how many times I heard that I was getting "fortinha" (basically chubby) or my butt looked really good (aka BIG for brazilians) or i was too skinny and looked sickly, or they didn't like my new hair color, or I was really really pasty white, etc etc etc. Its annoying. Really. So did one of your students say your face looked like a squashed tomato?! hahahah thats horrible!! I would have given them detention! ;)

M said...

Kristi's right - Brazilians do make a lot of comments about one's weight and size. And I would always be described to others by my weight. Depending on the size of my companion, I was either the "skinny one" or the "fat one."

And I laughed about your red face comment. If only you could control blushing!

Lindsey said...

Every once in a while I think teaching ESL and teaching Kindergarten has its similarities. Kindergarteners will just say the first thing that comes to mind. So if they see a zit on your face they are bound to mention it. They also comment on blushing, haircuts, hair styles, clothes, makeup, dogs, cats, the moon, stars, tinker bell, star wars, vacations, having to pee, etc. Anything that comes into their little minds comes right out of their little mouths. I know I would be fired if I slapped one of my kindergarteners for telling me my hair looked bad but I think you could get away with it Kelly. You should at least have a day where you teach about things that they should not ask Americans or that are considered rude to ask.

ixoj said...

Just for the record, no one has told me my face looked like a tomato. I think if they did, I just might lose it. The problem with my blushing is that it can reflect such a wide spectrum of emotions- embarrassment, rage, excitement, etc. But people who don't blush (ie Asians) assume that blushing = embarrassed.

ego non said...

The first day at my new job one of the HR guys (from Africa) says upon meeting me, "Wow, you are nothing like your picture!" I assumed it was because I wasn't wearing my glasses in the picture on my license. The second day he says, "Wow, you are nothing like your picture! You look much heavier in your picture! Here, look. See, you are much heavier in your face."

Derek and Emily said...

I'm glad you have a healthy self esteem and can handle that. Although I think the bursting tomato comment is pretty funny, I'm might not think so if it was directed at me.

Anonymous said...

Fautie says:

Well if you punch a student you will satisfy this innate desire you have to hit someone. And you most likely will lose your job.

Anonymous said...

Fautie says some more:

Oh if one of your students says one of those tactless things you can teach them an American thing to say. Tell them that when people say or do rude things Americans like to say "Well kiss my......."

Caroline said...

That is hard. Perhaps one of the things that should be incorporated into the ESL program is social customs in the US.